Image: Handcuffs / Klaus with K / Wikimedia Commons
Dear Brock Turner,
Seeing as you are to be released early from prison on Friday, having served three months of your six-month sentence for rape, we thought we'd help you out by laying down some rules. To help you with your transition back into society, we have some terms for your parole. They are:
1. Don't rape.
2. Don't rape.
3. Alcohol is not an excuse for rape. Ever.
4. Learn the definition of consent.
5. Learn to take responsibility for your actions.
6. Don't be a piece of shit.
7. Don't rape.
P.S. Oh, we forgot. One more thing: don't rape.